I'm going to start off with a few childhood memories. Growing up I never really had a ton of friends. There were a few girls in my grade that lived on my street so i hung out with them for a few years. That changed when one of them had all of them turn on me. Basically she said I did something and told them they could not be friends with me. Later she was like ya i lied about that. That did not change anything all through jr high and high school I only had a handful of friends. I would hang out with my sister and some of the other kids on the streets but i was always the one that got picked on I remember coming home crying like all the time saying they were making fun of me again. For example when I was about 7ish I came home from a girl scouts event with my mom, and my dad asked me to go get my sister and brother at the new kids house up the street. Now i had no idea where it was at - i had never met him before. Well I go and get them and they are like see I told you she was blah blah blah I cant rem the exact words but it was something like the mean one the fat etc etc. Another time was when we were all up the street playing football and one kid decided to start calling me fat names ( i was a lil chubby kid not fat but my mom forced me to exercise which is prob why i hate doing it now) one of the names was earth, you know BC that's the best name a kid could come up with be the earth is so big. I came home crying all the time it was horrible.
Where I am going with these stories is as I was growing older I had a fear of rejection and need of acceptance. Before making decisions I would see what my friends thought I should do and I went with the majority. I am still overcoming them but instead of doing it by my own strength I'm letting God take care of it. And as I do I realize that I can care less what other people think. I have Gods acceptance and that's all I need. It is def not easy when someone says they don't like you or give you this look, I want to find out why and "fix" it. Its seems like a day to day process but as I grow in the Lord they slowly fade away.
