Well in the summer of 2004 I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I shortly found out that being the only one in my immediate family that was saved was very difficult. That fall I found myself a good church and slowly started to get involved. Then I got a job at this local restaurant and ended up working with this guy who I had not seen since I was a freshman and he was a senior. So obviously I started to hang out with him and his friends. Not the best decision 1 girl and 4 guys sometimes another girl would come hang out but rarely ever. I was with them at least 3/4 days a week. The summer of 2005 was the first time I was ever around weed - and that was every time we hung out. I remember coming home scared that my parents would smell it and be like what were you doing. But I never encountered that problem. I was never told that I could not hang out with them so my assumption is they just had no clue what was going on. Now I never did smoke it but I was always around it and when you are around it enough you get contact highs. I am not blaming that on what I ended up doing. Unfortunately they thought I was cute (now your prob thinking ya right why would that be a bad thing) let me remind you that it was 1 girl 4 guys summer drugs. I did things that summer that I told myself I would never do. FYI I made a commitment to not have sex til I was married and kept that commitment but I never took into context anything else. Then I went to summer camp and was like no more - cut off ties from them and I ended up getting baptized in July.
I started to hang out with people from church - they were a few years older than me. Less than a year later right around my 18 birthday (April 06) I put myself in yet another situation. Alone in a bedroom with a guy, no lights. YES, I was the brightest crayon in the box let me tell you! My commitment about not having sex was still in tact and still is to this day but I already did things so what was going through my head was you already messed up so whats the point now and that was after getting my 2nd silver ring. Those friends slowly faded away due to them getting into drugs and OD on painkillers. They started messing with me and just saying how I was the worst christian in the world and how in the world I could be praising Jesus when that is the way I was. And you know what I bought into that lie.
That fall I got a 2nd job and I liked it I was at sears and there was this guy who made me feel special - he had a GF and I was actually friends with her not good friends more of accuantences. That did not bother me bc I was being made the center of attention so we started to hang out after work in each others cars and things happened. That went on for prob a few months and I quit the job bc I was like no I do not want to be known as that person.
In March 2007 I started to attend this young adults program at a different church, VFC. I loved it. I stayed with my friends that I came with so I did not really get to hang out with many other people. Well that summer was prob one of the worst of my life. The first week of July I lost my job, I lost my car in a flood, problems in my family started to be more evident, so instead of turning to Jesus I turned to things of this world. I drank for the first time - actually twice that week and I dont want to blame it on the drinkin bc I fully knew what I was doing but yet again another guy came around and showed interest in me. so i gave in and did things that i vowed i was never going to do agian.
August came around and I was about to leave for my first missions trip - man i did not feel like i should be going. But, I went anyways God changed me while I was down there. When I came back God put it on my heart to switch church's. I started going to Victory Family Church and God transformed me. I thought that the summer was going to be the worst but what happened in the fall topped everything off. A lot of things started to go down hill very fast in my family. People close to me were turning to drugs as a means to escape reality and in return it physically and emotionally hurt everyone involved. The reason that I did not turn to the world was because I had a newfound strength that I never knew existed before. That would be turning to Jesus, relying on Him, knowing He would get me through it. I gave him my all and did not stop looking towards Him once. In Nov I got my 3rd silver ring instead this commitent involved me commiting to not only not having sex but to staying pure. Truthfully I can say that I never had sex. But that does not mean anything because I was still not staying pure.
There are a few reasons why I felt like sharing this:
- tonight the youth at my youth group have a chance to make a commitment not only to themselves but to the Lord and their future husband/wife to stay sexually pure
- I wanted to show you that God can take you out of any thing and make you brand new.
- I was searching for acceptance and love and found it in Jesus - who was there the whole time
- I am on fire for God
- He is my life, my everything
- There is no way I am ever turning back to who I once was
- I refuse to put myself in any situation that will hinder my walk with God - not just sexual temptations but anything drugs, anger, swearing - I do not want any of that
- I am pursuing the call of missions that I have had on my life for 4 years. - I went on 2 mission trips to Honduras and in Jan I will be going to Guatemala for 6 months
- I realize now that I dont need to be accepted by people - they do not have to like me - they do not have to agree with me I DONT CARE
- I am going to do what God wants me to do and only that people can have their opinions but thats just what they are opinions and that is the way they are going to stay
